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Imagine if you couldn’t get fired from your job…
Really, take a second to let your mind wander down that rabbit hole. If nothing you did could get you fired, what would you do? You can come in late, not come in at all, dress how you want, unleash a flurry of expletives on your boss…
So what would you do?
Would you neglect your duties, your morals, maybe even some state and federal laws?
You’ve actually already got a job that you can’t get fired from. We all do. It’s called “Your Body Incorporated” and you are the lifetime CEO. You have been in charge of Your Body since the day you were born, and no one checked your references. You had no experience, no qualifications, and regardless of your conduct and the direction you take the company… you can’t get fired.
So how are you doing at the job?
Is it fun, or is it an inconvenience? Are you excited to get to work or content just dreaming of another job?
Well you can’t quit, so maybe get them some training? Get an accountant (food log) to help keep track of your spending. Bring in a consultant (doctor or trainer) to offer some perspective and direction. Hire a secretary (time spent focused on yourself) to develop an itinerary for your day.
Being too busy to take care of yourself is an excuse. It results in having less of yourself to be busy with.
Taking care of yourself is your job. If you aren’t good at that job, it’s your job to get better.
Make time for yourself, and you’ll have more of yourself to work with.
How to get what you want…
We are all creations. The source of which can be debated, but the fact is that if you are reading this, then you were created. Brought into existence. The odds of that happening by the way, are staggering, so consider yourself lucky. In very short order however, you graduated from creation and assumed the role of creator. Your first creations were meager… poops, gas, and tears. You remained unaware of the immense joy that you created in the hearts and minds of your audience. Fast forward a few years and your creations manifested with greater and greater sophistication. As a toddler you created limitless imagination, enthusiasm, wonder, and some exaggerated tantrums when your creations didn’t pan out. By the time you hit double digits you started creating patterns that potentially still exist today.
Patterns of focus (optimism, pessimism, unshakable investment in the future, past, or present)
Patterns of emotion (fear, anger, sadness, appreciation, excitement, love)
Patterns of language (slang, humor, vocabulary, syntax, profanity, context, utility, sarcasm)
Patterns of movement (play, work, sit, hard or easy, high or low volume, knees in or out)
Patterns of sleep (not enough… I think that’s it)
Patterns of eating (carb city bitch!, protein, convenience, confusion, low fat, surrender)
Patterns of needs (control, variety, significance, connection)
Patterns of expectations (what we think we need and want from the world)
From then until now… you been creating patterns of behaviors manifested from the framework above (which you created). With very little diversity, you tie your shoes the same way every day, you eat the same types of foods every week, you cycle between 2 different emotions with gusto. You fish from a small pond of words to describe your experiences. The sum of your creations from birth until now, is wholly represented by how you feel, right now (unless you’re drunk or numbing out some other way (also a pattern)). Chances are it aint purdy. If it is, you don’t need to hear this.
Why the hell did you create so many undesirable patterns??
We create without learning the machinery. (never read the instructions for this mind)
We create without knowing how to create. Hell… we even create without knowing that we are creating! We accumulate others creations, internalize them in our minds where they generate future generations of creations. We compound creations with mathematics that defy calculation. We create subconsciously while engaged in the patterns that we’ve already created. The process of creation is unstoppable. Take your hands of the wheel and the car keeps driving, often times increasing speed.
As a result, we often get stuck trying to fix or avoid undesirable creations which we created (accidentally).
We get bogged down by all these undesirable patterns and at a certain threshold it’s tempting to blame the problems on… anything. Because I definitely didn’t do it on purpose, because it hurts so much, because it’s not what I want, because it’s unfathomably insurmountable…. It couldn’t be my creation. No way.
It’s not my fault…
It’s my boss…
It’s my husband…
It’s my schedule…
It’s those neighbors…
It’s too expensive
It’s too hard
There’s not enough time in the day
If I only had some help
I have too much responsibility
I tried, it didn’t work
It’s genetics…your parents for the record never got the same instructions you’re waiting on so give them a break. Maybe send them this letter so they can stop blaming theirs.
When you blame anything else for YOUR lack of happiness, what you are saying is this…
“I will make changes in here when there are changes out there.”
You are saying that happiness comes from out there. You are letting the environment you live in, create your world. You have downgraded yourself back to a creation. You lost touch with your power to create. You are wasting your infinite potential. You have a glitch in your imagination. You are the worst kind of lost.
And it’s all your fault. Every single undesirable bit of it.
If you can muster the courage to choke that down. If you can put your name on every shit sandwich you’ve ever pulled out of your lunchbox. If you can own the entirety of your suffering… then you can start to create desirable outcomes. You can put your hand back on the wheel and start heading in the direction you want. Fear will prevent you from doing this. Accepting that every ounce of discontent you have ever experienced in your life, is your fault, is unequivocally difficult. Furthermore, once you take credit for past misery, you simultaneously take charge of your future. If you are really the one in charge… that means you’ve made all this pain… so clearly you are inept. You are just going to cause more suffering. That statement, is profoundly accurate, scary, and empowering.
See… it’s all your creation… but it’s not your fault. Without knowing you I can say with complete certainty, that you didn’t create a single undesirable pattern on purpose. We simply aren’t taught how to use the insanely complicated pattern producing chemical computer between our ears. We certainly get lots of advice, but chances are it’s coming from other people unknowingly suffocating under the mass of undesirable creations they unknowingly created for themselves.
“This is how you swim” says one well intended drowning child to the other…
Alan Watts suggested an idea to find the grace to accept your role… “You see… we are born in a double bind, because the person who needs improving is the person in charge of improving”
You are the creator of your existence.
If you aren’t intentional with your creations, the results will be haphazard…
If you are surrounded by haphazard creations, it will be tempting to blame something…
If you blame something outside for problems inside, you disempower your creativity
If you accept 100% responsibility for your patterns, you can create what you want
You will not be able to create a better relationship, a better body, a better life… until you organize your mind. If fear is holding you back, you created it. If anger is holding you back, you created it. If time is holding you back, you created your schedule. Whatever is holding you back, you created it.
To create what you want, you must simply accept your role as creator.
Registration is live for the 2016 Dirty Dogwood 5k. You can walk it, run it, or challenge yourself to the obstacle mud run. This unique event is appropriate for all ages and ability levels, with something for everyone. Get together with friends, family, and coworkers for a morning you’ll be sure to remember.
Online Registration can be found HERE.
Or print a copy HERE and mail or drop it off at 5 Ossian St, Dansville NY 14437
Kids Class is cancelled just for tomorrow (Sunday, January 24th). Sorry for any inconvenience. There was a minor accident. Classes will resume on Tuesday (January 26th).
Download and print a food log to get started
The three flavors of Momentum. Newton said an object at rest will stay at rest and an object in motion will stay in motion. In my opinion, the phenomenon applies to physical objects as well as emotions, mindset, goals, and relationships (especially the relationship we have with ourselves).
Flavor number one is STUCK. If you are stagnant (at rest… no goal, no motivation, no will power, no hope) it is most difficult to get started. To initiate movement requires more force than it does to maintain it. If you repeatedly fail to start, you simply need to start smaller. Instead of committing to a program, a class, a diet, or challenge, commit to 1 burpee daily, commit to breakfast, or commit to a 5 minute brisk walk. This isn’t an excuse to “aim low” or mail it in. This to stop the cycle of…
liberal amount of steam!
If you struggle to start, start smaller. It won’t be the long term answer you need, but it will lead to it. One burpee is the sustainable commitment that will lead to two. I don’t care how busy, how sick, how tired, how depressed, or how out of shape you are… there is something simple you can do to initiate a sustainable amount of momentum. Get yourself unstuck by starting small.
Flavor number two is BACKWARDS. If you are moving the wrong way it is because no one is at the wheel. I haven’t met a soul yet who wants to be worse. Unintentional momentum is still momentum and just because you didn’t look which way you were leaning (or which way your life pushed you) doesn’t remove the responsibility to change from your shoulders. The good news… if you have backwards momentum… if you eat like complete shit, if you sleep like a college student, if you sit on your ass professionally, if your kids or family Bogart your energy, if you get out of breath tying your shoes, or if you’re a victim of depression… you have it easy! You’re so far the wrong way, almost anything you do will be an improvement. You can’t lose! OK…. that’s ignorant, but the point is, you HAVE momentum. You are moving in the wrong direction because you’re not paying attention to that area of your life. You are not paying attention to that area of your life because you are giving too much attention to another area. I don’t need to know you to know I’m right. You need to hit the fucking brakes on whatever is consuming you and re-calibrate your resources. You need to have an honest conversation with yourself about your priorities and commitments (maybe with some people close to you too). If you have backwards momentum, you need to put your hand back on the wheel. Track your activity for one day. On your phone or a piece of paper. Everything you do.
drive to work
save the world
eat more pudding
play with kids
Everything you do goes on a log for one day. You’ll have your answer. Spoiler alert… you knew it already. If you’re heading the wrong way you need to look at why you’re heading that way.
Flavor number three is FORWARD!!! You did it!! You lucky bastard, you somehow managed to get yourself heading in a positive direction. You eat smart, you have friends, you drive a sedan, you pay taxes, you have goals that you are making progress on, you eat skittles and shit rainbows and all is right with your world (figuratively). There are incalculable ways to get yourself heading in an infinite number of positive directions so before you pat yourself on the back, keep this in mind. While it does take less force to keep positive habits going than it takes to get them started, momentum is a powerful creator of change. Change means new, unknown, places you haven’t been before. Not every wave is predictable. Speed limits are not always clearly posted and some highways don’t have those rumble strips on the side to alert you of trouble. If you have forward momentum you don’t get to check out. This life doesn’t come with an autopilot. You need to keep one eye on the horizon, scanning for speed-bumps. You need to analyze the feedback you create in the wake of your movement. Enjoy the shit out of your success, but build in the regular habit of assessing your course. And if you really want to be a high performer, share what you’ve learned.
Momentum is amazing. I see it take new and dynamic shapes every day, but it only comes in three flavors. What flavor do you eat most?