New year, new you… or not


How to get what you want…


We are all creations. The source of which can be debated, but the fact is that if you are reading this, then you were created. Brought into existence. The odds of that happening by the way, are staggering, so consider yourself lucky. In very short order however, you graduated from creation and assumed the role of creator. Your first creations were meager… poops, gas, and tears. You remained unaware of the immense joy that you created in the hearts and minds of your audience. Fast forward a few years and your creations manifested with greater and greater sophistication. As a toddler you created limitless imagination, enthusiasm, wonder, and some exaggerated tantrums when your creations didn’t pan out. By the time you hit double digits you started creating patterns that potentially still exist today.


Patterns of focus (optimism, pessimism, unshakable investment in the future, past, or present)

Patterns of emotion (fear, anger, sadness, appreciation, excitement, love)

Patterns of language (slang, humor, vocabulary, syntax, profanity, context, utility, sarcasm)

Patterns of movement (play, work, sit, hard or easy, high or low volume, knees in or out)

Patterns of sleep (not enough… I think that’s it)

Patterns of eating (carb city bitch!, protein, convenience, confusion, low fat, surrender)

Patterns of needs (control, variety, significance, connection)

Patterns of expectations (what we think we need and want from the world)


From then until now… you been creating patterns of behaviors manifested from the framework above (which you created). With very little diversity, you tie your shoes the same way every day, you eat the same types of foods every week, you cycle between 2 different emotions with gusto. You fish from a small pond of words to describe your experiences. The sum of your creations from birth until now, is wholly represented by how you feel, right now (unless you’re drunk or numbing out some other way (also a pattern)). Chances are it aint purdy. If it is, you don’t need to hear this.


Why the hell did you create so many undesirable patterns??


We create without learning the machinery. (never read the instructions for this mind)


We create without knowing how to create. Hell… we even create without knowing that we are creating! We accumulate others creations, internalize them in our minds where they generate future generations of creations. We compound creations with mathematics that defy calculation. We create subconsciously while engaged in the patterns that we’ve already created. The process of creation is unstoppable. Take your hands of the wheel and the car keeps driving, often times increasing speed.  


As a result, we often get stuck trying to fix or avoid undesirable creations which we created (accidentally).


We get bogged down by all these undesirable patterns and at a certain threshold it’s tempting to blame the problems on… anything. Because I definitely didn’t do it on purpose, because it hurts so much, because it’s not what I want, because it’s unfathomably insurmountable…. It couldn’t be my creation. No way.


It’s not my fault…

It’s work…

It’s my boss…

It’s god…

It’s my husband…

It’s my schedule…

It’s those neighbors…

It’s too expensive

It’s too hard

There’s not enough time in the day

If I only had some help

I have too much responsibility

I tried, it didn’t work

It’s genetics…your parents for the record never got the same instructions you’re waiting on so give them a break. Maybe send them this letter so they can stop blaming theirs. 


When you blame anything else for YOUR lack of happiness, what you are saying is this…


“I will make changes in here when there are changes out there.”


You are saying that happiness comes from out there. You are letting the environment you live in, create your world. You have downgraded yourself back to a creation. You lost touch with your power to create. You are wasting your infinite potential. You have a glitch in your imagination. You are the worst kind of lost.


And it’s all your fault. Every single undesirable bit of it.


If you can muster the courage to choke that down. If you can put your name on every shit sandwich you’ve ever pulled out of your lunchbox. If you can own the entirety of your suffering… then you can start to create desirable outcomes. You can put your hand back on the wheel and start heading in the direction you want. Fear will prevent you from doing this. Accepting that every ounce of discontent you have ever experienced in your life, is your fault, is unequivocally difficult. Furthermore, once you take credit for past misery, you simultaneously take charge of your future. If you are really the one in charge… that means you’ve made all this pain… so clearly you are inept. You are just going to cause more suffering. That statement, is profoundly accurate, scary, and empowering.


See… it’s all your creation… but it’s not your fault. Without knowing you I can say with complete certainty, that you didn’t create a single undesirable pattern on purpose. We simply aren’t taught how to use the insanely complicated pattern producing chemical computer between our ears. We certainly get lots of advice, but chances are it’s coming from other people unknowingly suffocating under the mass of undesirable creations they unknowingly created for themselves.


“This is how you swim” says one well intended drowning child to the other…


Alan Watts suggested an idea to find the grace to accept your role… “You see… we are born in a double bind, because the person who needs improving is the person in charge of improving”

You are the creator of your existence.

If you aren’t intentional with your creations, the results will be haphazard…

If you are surrounded by haphazard creations, it will be tempting to blame something…

If you blame something outside for problems inside, you disempower your creativity

If you accept 100% responsibility for your patterns, you can create what you want

You will not be able to create a better relationship, a better body, a better life… until you organize your mind. If fear is holding you back, you created it. If anger is holding you back, you created it. If time is holding you back, you created your schedule. Whatever is holding you back, you created it.

To create what you want, you must simply accept your role as creator.

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